A lot of writers never sell their work and get a lot of enjoyment and fulfillment out of it. You don’t have to be a pro writer to be a writer. There are other writers who should be here too. It was a long hard climb back up the hill, and a couple times I nearly got thrown off a cliff, but I made it, and much further than I ever thought I would. It was months before I even heard anybody I didn’t know personally mention reading the book. Nobody seemed to remember my previous books, and it was like having a debut, except there was no “new writer” excitement. Then, The Cloud Roads sold to Night Shade Books in the summer of 2010 and I was back, sort of. I canceled appearances at upcoming conventions and tried to figure out what I wanted to do with my life. The toll on my mental health was getting higher. I had interactions that made it clear I was expected to maybe self-publish a little and then go away, emphasis on the go away.

I was still going to a couple of local conventions but didn’t have any money to travel to bigger out of state shows, no way to remind people in publishing that I still existed. But there are things I can’t handle that other people are able to shrug off. I’m an emotional abuse survivor, and my coping mechanisms are many and varied. This was hard on me, even though circumstances of my life have made me somewhat used to pushing to do things that other people didn’t want me to do. I had opportunities, but nothing seemed to pan out. As the book made the rounds collecting rejections for two years, I still kept writing, and worked on The Serpent Sea, and Emily and the Hollow World. But publishers were not interested in The Cloud Roads. I went to a writer friend for recommendations and finally found an awesome new agent. I wasted a lot of time querying an agent who had solicited me when The Death of the Necromancer came out, only to be finally dismissed by an assistant who said they were only interested in books by established authors.

Then, I started The Cloud Roads and something finally clicked. I went back to writing fanfic, which made writing fun again. I tried to start new novels, but they died in the first few chapters. But I had just left a toxic day job environment, and my depression and anxiety were just getting worse. I still wanted to be a professional writer, it was all I’d ever wanted.

Martha wells death of the necromancer